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In Investing, So Many Windows, Not Enough Mirrors

The Struggle

I am in “learning and putting into practice” mode, reading as many investing and mindset books as I can.  Podcast after podcast is in my ears as I walk and do laundry and cook.  My Audible credits are only used for building my mindset and future – unless it’s Vacation time and then I just listen to the next good mystery book in my wish list.  I watch every YouTube video or Apple News article my husband sends me – even if it’s not as quickly as he would like me to.  I am listening and taking notes.  Adding follow-ups into my Things app.  I am changing what I do and how I respond bit-by-bit.  I must realize my dreams.

It’s really fucking hard sometimes to gather up the gumption and focus to do this when SO much of the experience feels like looking out windows rather than seeing mirrors.  Let me explain…

Windows and Mirrors

In my lifetime, we’ve evolved to a culture that emphasizes modeling and the importance of providing children with windows (to opportunities) and mirrors (to see themselves).  Every one of us can point to the feeling and sense of opportunity we feel at having access to models (be it business people, politicians, athletes, etc.) that seem to embody both our own struggles but also our aspirations.

But it’s not just for children.  ANYONE who wants to change a trajectory, achieve something personally deemed hard, needs mirrors.  I’ve often said that VERY FEW OF US are capable of chasing a goal that nobody has done before.  MANY OF US are capable of chasing a goal that at least a few who “seem like us” have done before.  That’s why we need mirrors to move through James Clear’s Valley of Disappointment.  That’s how we trust that there is a “math” that produces the outcomes we are striving for, if we just stick with the habits.

There are few mirrors for me

To get through the Valley of Disappointment, you need to be self-motivated, yes.  And yet, I’m realizing how hard it is sometimes to hear (or believe?) that Inner Coach when sooooo many of the voices and faces in the content I’m consuming are not like me.

  • They are nearly 100% male.
  • They are nearly 100% not people of color.
  • They are so often religious in ways that I am not.

To be sure, the lessons, the guidance, the investing facts and figures are spot on.  There is no debating that, and that information is exactly what I’m there to get.  And I’m super grateful for the content.

Yet, I would consolidate better and bolster my sense of possibility if there was SOME similarity between me and the author/voice.  When I watch or hear or read people who don’t sound or look like me, or have my background, there is a gap that I’m perceiving.  There is body language that doesn’t resonate for me;  idioms that I can’t imagine using; fears I have which are not made plain.  The voices are literally so different than mine.

Harnessing my Slow Brain

So, while I’m listening, I’m also observing: how might I be inspired and propelled to move forward if there were more that sound and look like me?  How much am I fighting my success now by not having a steady diet of affirming looks, voices, stories, and realism?

Today, I took my 85  lb (or 90 lb depending on who has been feeding him more often lately!) German Shepherd for a long walk.  As is typical, I listened to a book – today it was “The Lifestyle Investor” by Justin Donald.  I’ve learned and gained many good nuggets in this one especially around different ways to structure deals / investing agreements.  Eye-opening.  At some point, he mentions the private group he runs called The Lions Network that get access to the deals he’s looking at.  I noticed immediately that my mind imagined a bunch of guys.  I had to say to myself – I could create a Lionesses group.  Or, I could be in the Lions group…or SOMETHING.  It’s not just about names and naming.  It’s what images – what windows – are evoked when language is used, and whether those close the gap in confidence, or widen it.

I am so grateful to my husband.  He’s my consistent source of content that at least brings forward people of color.  I have moments afterwards like “if that guy can do it, so can I”.  (Note: “guy”.)

The Work will Never Be Done

And yet, where are the women’s voices?  There are not enough of those.  Let alone women of color.  This gap has been inspiring me to focus my energies on writing and sharing, where I can.  After having been involved as a Founding Trustee of Techgirlz, and supported efforts to grow the number of women in technology by focusing on middle school-aged girls, I find this tiring.  Are we going to have focus on creating the windows and mirrors for every field, every life dream, every opportunity?  The resounding answer is YES.

Turns out we need windows that actually show us where we want to go, not just something close enough.

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